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“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply.”

Stephen R. Covey

Do you ever feel like you’re speaking to someone but they’re not actually listening to the things you’re saying, they’re just waiting for their turn to speak? 

There is a fine line between hearing someone and actually listening to what is being said. Becoming a better listener will help you improve your social skills as it will allow you to converse better with others and be more thoughtful and empathetic with your responses. Active listening is a technique that can help you do just that!

How to perform active listening:

• Don’t multitask while listening to someone
• Listen through nonverbal ques eg. nodding your head, smiling, raising your eyebrows when surprised, and maintaining an inviting posture (uncrossed arms)
• Maintain eye contact
• Give the speaker your full attention, don’t think about what you are going to say next or daydream, but be present and mindful of what you are hearing
• Be non-judgmental and open-minded
• Be empathetic 
• Tolerate silence to give yourself and the speaker time to process information. Try not to “fill” silence, if you find it awkward, ask the speaker an open-ended question to allow them to keep going.
• Paraphrase what you heard
• Ask open-ended questions and specific probing questions
• Use short verbal affirmations eg. “I understand.” Or “I see.”

Practice makes perfect!

Becoming a better listening takes practice. Remember these tips for active listening and practice using them in your everyday life. They will get easier and easier with time. I like to start with staying off of my phone and making eye contact when someone is speaking to me. Remember that silence is not always “awkward” and that if you feel uncomfortable, it helps to ask a question to allow the person to speak more.

Being a good listener can be applied to any job as all jobs require communication of some sort. The better you are at listening, the better you will be at accomplishing tasks efficiently. 

Happy listening! Transformer Kenzy 🙂

The Transform Lifestyle Medicine Alliance Team
Transformer – Kenzy Green

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