Asking the Right Questions
Lizzie Brown-Cordero, February 8th 2021
Often times, I struggle with carrying out a conversation regardless if I am talking with a friend, colleague, or family member. I have trouble finding the right questions to ask and often feel uncertain in whether or not the other person is engaged or even wants to continue the conversation! After reading the book Get to What Matters by Wendy D. Lynch and Cydette de Groot, I learned some tools and strategies to an engaging conversation by asking the right questions.
I really want to share these questions with you here today in this blog post as they have greatly helped me. At the end of this post, I will be sharing four examples of different types of questions that can help carry a conversation and keep the other person engaged. So, stay tuned!
“A good question can stop someone in their tracks, rekindle their curiosity, connect patterns, or launch their brains in a new direction” (Page 74)
Wendy d. lynch & Clydette de groot
Some reasons we may ask a question is because we care, we are genuinely interested in what the other has to say, or we want to know more information. Another reason we may ask a question is simply because we already think we know the answer. Through each question, we can really get to the heart of what matters in the conversation.
Now let’s talk about four different types of questions that can really get a conversation started and in the right direction.
- Motivation Questions: This type of question can be really useful in helping the other person figure out their reasoning for something. We have a scenario where your friend just expressed his desire to start his own company. You ask your friend “How will that this new journey help you?” Asking this question will help your friend better understand his intentions with his new career path.
- Energy Questions: This type of question is useful in situations where you want to shift the conversation towards positive thoughts. You have a scenario where a family member struggles with their weight loss journey. You say to them “What are you most looking forward to”. This question will help your family member have a more positive outlook on their weight loss journey.
- Strategy Questions: This question can help someone choose among a variety of different options. If your friend is deciding between an expensive vacation or staying local and saving money, you can ask the question “How will you decide?”. This question will help your friend discover for themselves a conscious decision that can work.
- Confidence Question: This last type of question also helps shift a person’s focus towards positivity. You have a scenario where a family member struggles with finances. You ask a question such as “if you were able to have more money, how would that be for you”. This can help the other person design for themselves a potential positive future.
So, next time you are having a conversation with someone whether it be your friend or family member, try out one of these questions and see where the conversation takes you!
Below are more resources for improving your conversation skills and asking the right questions in different situations!
- https://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2011/04/01/improve-conversation-skills/
- https://hbr.org/2018/05/the-surprising-power-of-questions
- https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_88.htm
Get to conversing!
Transformer Lizzie 🙂
The Transform Lifestyle Medicine Alliance Team
Transformer – Lizzie Brown-Cordero
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